Ok so I decided to troll a friend, and needed some weird statistics. So
I ask the Google gods “how many times a day do you touch strangers?”. Apparently, this train of thought is caucasion exclusive. I saw many sites devoted to stuff white people like, and stuff whites do. Also we apparently steal a lot of cars. Dammit! I did not get the memo….but I DO finally get the slur “honkey” ! I know now its because whites are known to steal cars. Whew! I was self hating because I thought we were only known for drowning our kids and enslaving our f ellow humans. I keep seeing these things online and Im more confused everyday. I heard whites really liked nutella? I thought about trying it…but making it through the checkout in a predominately black neigborhood without laughing my ass off, was more than I could bear. Now this is the part where Im supposed to mention I have a black friend a
nd they are my best friend …right? Well actually my best friend is a Jew and a little person. Shes passed away recently. So best friend slot is avalible. Look if you have to mention your “black friends” or start with “Im NOT racist, but…” you already know your about to offend someone. We’ll discuss that later in another blog. You really want to know how to heal racisim? Turn off the T.V….and go actually talk to folks. Really talk…without assuming anyting. If you want to know something. .. ask. Most people LOVE to talk about themselves…AND want to be king of their own race…you know…speak for their….WHOLE race. Now with that in mind…Based on most of the whites I know…here are a few fun facts….about whites….(drum roll)
1. Whites are quiet because we like to hoard the anger. “Goin Postal” is kinda our thing.
2. We dont understand white jokes…at all.
3. We tell racist jokes when blacks are not around.
4. We have no idea how to address black people, and often argue amongst ourselves about what the “P.C.” term is.
5. We say “you people” to EVERYONE but black folks…and still dont know why it makes blacks mad.
6. We assume that if you look like a thug…you are one.
7. We dont understand ebonics…that is why we stare, and look at you “funny”.
8. Curiosity is often mistaken for racisim.
9. The King of the Whites is Bill Clinton. He handles the complaints.
10. White people (unless stark white and newly from europe) are never 100% caucasion.
Oh and WHITE PEOPLE STOLE MY CAR TOO!!!!!
Posted from the lunatic frindge
