Archive for November, 2011


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Im 31 years old. What we used to call parenting….is now called child abuse.  My poor little Dali, finally reported that little bitch Gecko! (Hell yes Im gonna change this BRATs name to Gecko!) Poor Dali is in grade 3, and a tender 8 year old. Ok..she’s also a whining, tattle tale , annoying brat.  I really love her. The other side of her is a beautiful little angel who no matter how mean somebody is to her, loves them with every breath in her little body.  Before her seizures got under control, she had partial seizures that caused her to wander off, bark (yes I said BARK) and piss her pants….and these little fuckers have NEVER let ANYONE forget it.  Gecko and her 2 little copies torment my sweet Dali.  They bully other children into ostracizing Dali. Ive heard from other parents that this kid threatens other kids and tells them not to be friends with Dali….Gecko is in BAD NEED OF A SPANKING!!!! But of coarse….that’s CHILD ABUSE!  RIGHT????? I don’t know where these people are Comming from. In my day, if a kid was acting like that, or especially if they was mean to a special needs child….well….you got YOUR ASS BEAT!!!! we KNEW better. Now its perfectly ok if a kid turns over another kids wheelchair in school.  We will blame processed food….WHAT??? little Tommy beat up a Downs child??? OMG! Give little Tommy a hug and SUE BURGER KING!!!! Get a grip folks and go see if grandma still has that old paddle.

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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Ok…so here is the problem…Jane & John Citizen with a wall full of gold parenting stars…always on the TV …glowing and talking about embracing your special kid, celebrate diversity …..blah, blah and blah….THEIR Aspie kid screams in beautiful melodies and shits rainbows too I bet.  Oh ..and they n-e-v-e-r loose control ….oh noooo!  Yeah well FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! Whew! THAT felt better! These people look like cardboard cut outs with giant teeth and REALLY make you feel like a dirt bag if you occasionally resent being parent to an autistic child.  I mean….HELL..where would I be with out ALL THAT SELF LOATHING???  Here is my point…Its not supposed to be this hard.  We go into this parenting thing with…well ..something like The Walton’s or Brady Bunch in mind….and end up with something more like Monday night smack down.  OH YES….I JUST LOOOOOVE BEING MOM TO A SCREAMING,SPINNING,SPITTING,KICKING 130 POUND INFANT!!! gee sign me up for 9 more just like him!!! Hell no I DON’T ENJOY THIS! Ok before we go dialing Nancy Grace…ask yourself this; do you actually enjoy the Autism part? No fluffy bull crap about love…and it being them….look a better question….if there was a cure,  wouldn’t you do anything to get it? Ok so point made. I love Loud very dearly. I will do anything to help Loud. Some days I don’t want to be his mom….does that mean I will Roast in hell? I doubt it…and u know what? I really want that cure. 

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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  This is the morning challenge.  We all know how this goes, wake up, melt down, eat, aggravate everyone, melt down,forget Meds,leave for school, return for drugs,leave again…drop him off at school…..park your duff at the Valium salt lick…  WAIT….we have a Valium salt lick? NO? Ok then…veered into la la land.  Now I accept my kid has Autism.  What I could not figure out is the screaming in the underpants thing. I’ve talked to many parents and BINGO. . Its defiantly an autism thing.  This ought to be #1 on the diagnostic criteria. If it had, we could have saved ourselves 5 years of turmoil and wrong diagnosis.  I can not figure out why, in what freaking planet do you spend 30 minutes screaming over a loose thread on your shirt, then emerge butt naked from your room because suddenly your underpants are touching you (dammit Son, REALLY?)  Scream because your socks are not right….then finally dress. Then after all that distress over the way the cloths look….scream bloody murder because he don’t want to brush those teeth or hair!
***Incoherent screaming + shocking curse words***
Then….5 minutes till go Time….we are…YEP YOU GUESSED IT…..
In his underpants, full dead weight on the floor…..screaming! 
***animalistic screaming %&* jumping up & down tearing at my hair***
Well in a quiet moment (ha ha ha-not really but the loud ringing in my ears was muffling the noise a bit) I got to thinkin….These Autistic kids might be onto something….so I locked myself in my room….carefully removing the kids favorite lock picking tools, smeared the door knob with ice cold ky jelly (OK STOPPING HERE TO ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT GOING TO WIND UP KINKEY)
And I tried it…..Yep….the old screaming in my underpants! Wow….SCREAMING IN YOUR UNDERPANTS IS FREAKING AWESOME! Oh well..my neighbors think Im weird anyways….WOE love it! I recommend it….maybe next I will try chewing my shirt, clapping and spinning while patting random people  in Walmart! – Admit it…..it does look kinda fun…DON’T IT?

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

Bad Momma Goose! BAD!!!!

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Today I called an autistic kid an Asshole….BAD Momma Goose Bad!!! Ok so yes I do this a lot.  I watched this whole Temple Grandin thing last night and was super inspired ….today was a new day….and Im gonna lick this thing….Im gonna be super momma and cure my kid….This is why youtube @ 4am is not a great idea….brain in stupid mode …&   Loud is asleep.  So this delusion of grandeur lasted until the second meltdown today….and I did what all super duper mommies do…..I bribed Loud with candy and called him an asshole as he happily chomped away smacking his lips, eyes glazed over and (seriously?) drooling.   Im beating myself up (not really…but it seems like the thing to say) Mrs. Brady…eat your heart out….because here in the real world….the line between asshole and aspergers sometimes is blurry.  And Mr. & Mrs. Concerned Citizen …..Loud thinks too literal to associate that name with himself….so no feelings were injured.

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe