Category: Uncategorized


making friends with aspergers

my kids have progressed well this school year so far. We are already on the superintendent watch list for unapproved absences, and had ISS. On a dang roll we are. My son has entered middle school. This school has services and programs the elementry school did not have. He now has a social skills class. I do wonder sometimes if its more of an hour break for his teachers? Well thats beside the point. His social skills come to a screeching halt this year. His friends he had since grade 1 are scattered about in differnet classes, and new friends are hard to find. When your autistic, you can double the hard. Now he has these boys in his social skills class to be his friends. It feels a little orchistrated at best. But I can tell you this, one friend from elementry school was assigned to the group also. Only one of these boy has parents who are…um…super involved. Ok lets be real. “fucking crazy parents reliving their idea of a perfect childhood through their kid” I wonder if these little souls only seem autistic because of the extreem over involvement in their life. Now this one boy is a new friend and his parents are just exausted and forever ready to get a break. So he comes to our house for playdates. Its ok with me, but I honestly don’t think these kids like eachother. I think they co exist maybe. I think this kid comes to visit because he likes the aspie friendly environment and the abundence of autistic luring toys. ipods, legos…ect ect ect. I never see them play together at all.

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I wish there was A way to unlearn all the things I’ve been taught.  Those formative years being taught guilt with a systematic focus on that bondage.  I wonder, if I had been a Better parent…would autisim rule our lives? I can picture me in an apron…serving up hokey hollistic foods,  being a stay at home mom.  Would that have changed things? I don’t believe so. In fact, I think embracing my child’s diagnosis has created a welcome mat for the devil inside to come out. I mean…we intensified our efforts to seek help…and he becomes much worse.  We began to cater to a diagnosis and all the things “he can’t help” only to be drown in a sea of more problamatic behaviors.  I swear..if he were to read or hear that some autistic kids defecate on the floor…he would do just that.  Have we spoon fed this kid a persona that he now feels obligated to live up to? I know this much, I’m going to go insane with depression.  I hope that this is not my life forever.  I privately fantasize about life with him away in a group home…but I couldn’t throw my kid away. I hate myself for wanting a break from him….*depression: rinse & repeat*…I just wish that I wasn’t missing out on the childhood of my other kids.  Sometimes I just wish Autism was somebody else’s problem…I wish I had not spoiled him rotten.  G-d be merciful ……let this puzzle be solved

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Twas the week before Christmas
And all thru the house
Autism was screaming,
And destroying my house.

The stockings were hung,
By..ARE U KIDDING ME!
her hair
And being tied firmly to uh chair

The children were twisted and possesd I believe…
Oh why is he laughing…?
I need to go see….

When out on the lawn, there rose a clatter ….
Oh dear! AHHH What’s the matter?

I rushed to the window
And…DAMMIT SON!
What should appear??

An angry neighbor
And the prank of the year!
(Faaaaaaaaawkkkkkk)

My Bright Aspie child, planned it with care,
NO MORE CYOTE CARTOONS!
I MEAN IT! I SWEAR!

There stood my neighbor
Trying to be nice-BUT
I knew in a moment-this dude is PISSED!

He stood at my door
And called out some names!
(On that,  sir, they were ALL profane!)

Just that quick, it really got worse,
For on the roof, I heard the tap of 6 little feet…

Oh a hideous tide of giggles abound
And before the man could turn around…

MOTHER OF GOD!!!

My voice had rose to a hideous sqweek
“PLEASE DON’T SUE ME” I plead
As he continued to seeth…..

Thank God his wife had just appeared
To say “their just kids…let them be”

With a knowing smile and a wink…
She lead dude away,…
Im wondering and thinking now…
I should buy some pepper spray!
-EDD

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

Take Action on Autism!

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Ok granted not many read my blog…but if you read this PLEASE COMMENT! I just heard of a theater in Ohio that is holding “Autism night” to allow autistic kids and their families to see the new chipmunks movie! WHAT AN IDEA!!! so Im inspired.  Does your hometown have events or programs? What are your idea? Im ready to go pick a fight with our theater lol….I want this in Georgia!

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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Its that time of year again! Shopping,decorations and visitors! Oh and of coarse…turning the world upside down for your autistic child!  Its hard to remember how hard it is for our special kids.  Even if you wanted to go extreme ….avoid the changes, or if you dont celebrate..its still hard in them.  They are ready to spin, bite and scream in the blink of an eye.  Why?  Parental stress, changes to environment and extra commotion.   I have a friend who is Jewish….her autistic child freaks out this time of year too.  They notice the neighborhood lights, extra traffic and all.  Loud enjoys all the lights, and asks to go see them.  It still plays havoc on his nerves.  So we know why? But what to do?  Keep in mind Im a parent, not an expert.  (So my advice is actually practical..lol) low pressure environment is key.  The child’s room, a spare room- any space you can give up for a while.  It should be a holiday free zone.  If you can afford it, some kids really like the fluffy throw rugs.  Have them participate in traditions like tree decoration and cooking.  If you don’t stress, they won’t stress. 

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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Wow I tried really hard to blog every day. Guess my vision of being a famous blogger is not gonna happen lil.   Its been interesting to say the least. Being the caretaker now that my work hours are reduced.  Loud, who has been put to bed at 9 -9:30pm for years…apparently needs a 6 pm bedtime.  He actually enjoys the early bedtime, and is easy to work with in the morning. Dali’s bedtime was pushed up to 7pm.  Moody’s bedtime remains the same.  Well I’ve been letting Moody babysit Dali but not Loud.  She begged for the paying gig for over a year now, but state laws have age restrictions.  Now that she’s 12 she can lawfully babysit.  Good news…she’s the best sitter Dali’s ever had! Not intimidated by the seizures and a first aid whiz!  Bad news….Loud’s sitter was a relative.  A little tit for tat dispute and….no sitter….oh well…just grab up the yellow pages and look up sitters…under sub category for willing to babysit autistic child for regular Wage (ok ok ….its all I can afford!) ….and then I woke up from THAT dream and done what any sane patent would a done….I flipped the heck out!  OMG!! OMG OMG!!!! One of us is going to have to quit working! Well what happened is this; I offered Moody a raise and Boom  set our bedroom up like a apartment.  Loud camped out there, and largely ignored Moody and Dali.  They had strict instructions to leave him alone. Moody did it in fine style!  It helps alot to be in the south.  The neighbors on each side and in front of us,  offered to jump in and help Moody at a moments notice.  Two of the families have stay at home parents who are always home.  So Moody has a lot of support and I can be home in 25 min now that Im working closer to home.  Life is getting better!

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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  This is the morning challenge.  We all know how this goes, wake up, melt down, eat, aggravate everyone, melt down,forget Meds,leave for school, return for drugs,leave again…drop him off at school…..park your duff at the Valium salt lick…  WAIT….we have a Valium salt lick? NO? Ok then…veered into la la land.  Now I accept my kid has Autism.  What I could not figure out is the screaming in the underpants thing. I’ve talked to many parents and BINGO. . Its defiantly an autism thing.  This ought to be #1 on the diagnostic criteria. If it had, we could have saved ourselves 5 years of turmoil and wrong diagnosis.  I can not figure out why, in what freaking planet do you spend 30 minutes screaming over a loose thread on your shirt, then emerge butt naked from your room because suddenly your underpants are touching you (dammit Son, REALLY?)  Scream because your socks are not right….then finally dress. Then after all that distress over the way the cloths look….scream bloody murder because he don’t want to brush those teeth or hair!
***Incoherent screaming + shocking curse words***
Then….5 minutes till go Time….we are…YEP YOU GUESSED IT…..
In his underpants, full dead weight on the floor…..screaming! 
***animalistic screaming %&* jumping up & down tearing at my hair***
Well in a quiet moment (ha ha ha-not really but the loud ringing in my ears was muffling the noise a bit) I got to thinkin….These Autistic kids might be onto something….so I locked myself in my room….carefully removing the kids favorite lock picking tools, smeared the door knob with ice cold ky jelly (OK STOPPING HERE TO ASSURE YOU THIS IS NOT GOING TO WIND UP KINKEY)
And I tried it…..Yep….the old screaming in my underpants! Wow….SCREAMING IN YOUR UNDERPANTS IS FREAKING AWESOME! Oh well..my neighbors think Im weird anyways….WOE love it! I recommend it….maybe next I will try chewing my shirt, clapping and spinning while patting random people  in Walmart! – Admit it…..it does look kinda fun…DON’T IT?

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

The Autism Prayer

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Dear Lord I beg today for peace
And will you please help with these?
Him to learn to brush his teeth,
Tie his shoes, and not to scream?
Speak with words that do not rhyme,
And tell him not to stress the time?
Lord I do not know your side,
But on my knees, Ive, learned to rise. 
-EDD

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

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How do you sell an idea? How to you make people believe what your saying??? Hire a celebrity of coarse!  If Justin Bieber and Megan Fox decided to stand up for Autism…and promotes a hot new therapy….we are so gonna buy it! Right? So what happens if they say feeding them only bird poop is the answer? And we should crate train our autistic kids? (Hmm I might think on that one).  Now what if a “doctor” endorses this “cure” SIGN ME UP! Let’s be real…we are tired, scared and starved for information.  Even Thoe sometimes I fantasize about running away to Disneyworld alone…Im not going to throw Loud under a bus. There are terrible diseases out there. Diseases that make Autism look like a walk in the park.  Given a choice between polio and autism….Ill take the Autism thank you.  Vaccines can prevent them.  I had chicken pox last spring. My kids were vaccinated.  What kept me going through it was the pure anger. I kept thinking about some snot nose kid with anti vaccine parents…took their diseased brat to walmart to sneeze on stuff I then touched.  Ok so yes I realize that I should have been vaccinated too. But that was my fever induced alter personality.  Here is my thing. I work with children that are dying. These kids have horrible handicaps. It puts life into perspective.  A controversial shot can save your kids life.  Tell those loud mouth activist to stop spreading ignorance!

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe

Even the Dogs are Lunatics!

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Even the dogs are crazy here.  We are the proud pet humans of two dogs.  We shall call them Pinkie & The Brain….(yes Im SOOO original) I work 3rd shift.  So a few nights ago I get a call from Boom…its unusual to get a call so late…so Im worried.   Poor Boom was just about to fall into an exhaustion induced coma, when a loud thundering sound broke the silence.  It sounded like elephants running up and down the steps…..Boom jumped out of bed. He was panicked. He just got everyone to bed and the dogs all settled into their crates.  What the….? ! So he runs to the stairs….no one in sight….so he runs downstairs …..to greet two demon possessed dogs.  Pinkie (4 month old Shepard/lab mix) has broken his crate & escaped.  He had been running up & down the stairs like a cracked out,  furry version of flash….collecting toys and toilet paper…which he already had shredded…..and he managed to open The Brains crate (3 yr. Old miniature chihuahua) and she was in the middle of the room….jumping up in the air over & over…..I.swear…if I wasn’t so terrified of Nancy Grace eating my face off…..I would buy pepper spray….

Posted from the Lunatic Fringe